Home | Relationships | Marriage

SAVING YOUR MARRIAGE - IS THIS REALLY THE END?

By: Thomas Parker


Read More About Marriage

I'm not in love any longer, we've grown apart from each other, I've been hurt, I'm mad, I'm bitter, I've had enough and right at the moment I just need out!

Is it the end?

Literally hundreds of thousands of married couples throughout the earth have felt this way as evidenced in staggering and increasing split-up rates. Saving a marriage is not straightforward after the caring trust vital for any marriage has been shattered by dishonesty, deception, infidelity, anger, lack of esteem or affection or time, or sometimes violence, mistreatment, dominion or many other reasons. Unaddressed and unrestrained these damaging behaviours unavoidably lead to the destruction of the marriage then alas break up.

Over time if neglected a relationship can transform from a beautiful, loving and fulfilling relationship into an appalling, nasty, heartbreaking disaster. Unfortunately social 'progression' has been such that the import of the institute of marriage has been reduced to the point that we have a tendency to look upon break up and starting again as a usual, acceptable and indeed preferable option.

As a consequence you can frequently look to what the subsequent marriage can or will proffer instead of hunting for a technique to save your marriage. You try to set the past way, way behind you but in this you cheat yourself of the chance to grow the sort of marriage we are all craving for - a lasting, caring, joyous and meaningful bond.

So why can this come to pass?

Professionals and marriage books commonly speak of two facts that we all experience however very few understand or ponder them in relation to saving a marriage.

First - once we meet somebody new we experience that first deep 'in love' emotion though over time it weakens.

We have all experienced that virtually overwhelming feeling of love once we find somebody new and we believe we have found 'the one'! It is joyful, fantastic and lifts us up emotionally and physically. We think about this latest individual continuously, can't wait to be with them and experience vast and deep happiness. We search for ways to be together as often as we can and begin planning a future together.

We are aware this happens. It has happened to us previously, possibly numerous times. Sadly, although we have been through this beforehand we can nevertheless be blinded by it's influence and intensity into believing that this time it is the genuine thing and it will keep on forever.

It doesn't.

These intense feelings felt in what we name the 'honeymoon period' can last up to two years however gradually fade as reality and familiarity take hold. We realize this takes place but often neglect to develop the relationship skill-sets to keep alive that 'in love' feeling. Such skills are also crucial in saving your marriage. This brings us to fact number two.

A thriving marriage does not come about through chance you have to 'work' at a relationship.

Your father doubtless gave you this advice before you were married and again it is information we all understand. Yet some fail to acknowledge it's magnitude or do anything in relation to it before it is too late. When looking at saving your marriage this is absolutely vital. Some realize the need to work on their relationship however do not realize what type of 'work' is in fact needed for their individual marriage. Take, for instance, the gentleman who works long hours to afford a better house, top quality furniture, luxurious cars and clothing who, in this manner, expresses his love. Undoubtedly from his point of view he is working on his marriage. His wife however resents the lack of time with her husband, becomes lonely and the relationship begins to decay. He was working on his relationship however in the incorrect way.

Marriage books, experts, families and professionals tell of these two things because an appreciation of them is vital when building or saving a marriage. Being reminded of them when it would seem like the relationship is finished can be the glint that sets despondent partners on the road to recovery and though it may well seem like it's the end it is never too far gone to rebuild. I have witnessed marriages apparantly destroyed by deceitfulness and disloyalty become better and stronger than they ever were. It is possible to discover once again that 'in love' feeling and acquire the abilities to construct an indestructible foundation of real love that will endure the test of time.

Saving your marriage is achievable. Although break up rates are high, marriage rates are higher and increasing. There is immense worth in preserving marriage. One of the great advantages of the technological era we are in is the immense array of information and guidance that is available to people who will seek after it. The online world alone holds a vast array of marriage books, articles and movies aimed at saving your marriage. More than ever before we have access to the methods and resources that can allow us to remodel our marriage, even at their most terrible. The first action is to seek after that information and start to apply what we learn. This is NOT the end!

Article Source: http://depositarticles.com/

Thomas Parker is a blissfully married dad of three, a strong believer in the institution of marriage and in peoples ability to change their marriage situations for the better. For more marriage information go here. www.marriagebooksonline.com

Please Rate this Article

 

Not yet Rated

Click the XML Icon Above to Receive Marriage Articles Via RSS!

counter easy hit

Powered by Article Dashboard