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In San Francisco once I belonged to a small group which met weekly for the purpose of reviving the lost art of conversation. We realized that there is a fundamental principle underlying good talk. This principle—the basis of all good manners—is the avoidance of friction in social contacts, emotional friction caused by irritation, boredom, envy, egotism or ridicule. Here are some of the rules we finally adopted to guide our conversation and make it a delightful game. Oris Replica WatchesAvoid all purely subjective. Don't debate on your health, troubles, and domestic matters and never discuss your wife or husband. Streams of personal gossip and egotism destroy all objective discussions—of art, science, history, the day's news, sport or whatever. Such chatter bores the listener, and the talker, repeating what he already knows, nothing learned from others.

Don't monopolize. One of my friends was a laughing, attractive person, who told stories well—but too many of them. You roared with laughter, but after a while you grew restless and yearned for quieter, comfortable talk with plenty of give and take. You could not help remembering what John Dryden said about those "who think too little, and who talk too much "Or what SydneySmith wrote of Macaulay, "he has occasional flashes of silence, that makes his conversation perfectly delightful."Don't contradict. You may say" I don't quite agree with that", but flat contradiction is a conversation-stopper. One should seek to find points of agreement. In that way the subject develops in interest with each one's contribution. "That is the happiest conversation, "said Samuel Johnson," where there is no competition, but a calm quiet interchange of sentiments.

"Don't interrupt. Of course when you throw a few grace notes into the talk, such as "How wonderful!" or "You mean she didn't know?”, it doesn't put the train of conversation off the track. But to interpolate views of your own often leaves the speaker hanging uncomfortably in midsentence. Replica Oris Watches Don't abruptly change the subject. Some people, after patiently—and painfully—waiting for a talker to pause a moment, jump into the conversation with a totally new subject. In our Conversation Club it was an unwritten rule that after a person stopped talking there should be a brief silence in which to reflect, digest and appreciate what had been said. It is the proper tribute to anyone who has offered an idea for consideration.Show an active interest in what is said. This brings out the best in a speaker. You need not only your ears to listen well, but your eyes, hands and even posture. I have often tested an article I have written by reading it aloud to friends. What they said about it never helped much, since one often liked what another didn't. But if their eyes went to a picture on the wall, if their fingers fiddle, I knew the manuscript wasn't holding their interest and I marked the dull spot for revision.

After a diversion, bring back the subject. Often while a subject is not yet fully considered, it is lost in some conversational detour. There is no surer test of being able to converse well than reintroduce this forgotten topic. This is not only polite and gracious, but it is the best evidence of real interest.Don't make dogmatic statements of opinion. It is considered vulgar to make any definite, decisive statement. One may speak of anything, but never with an expression of finality.The remark is left up in the air, for the next guest to enlarge upon, so that no one is guilty of forcing any personal opinion upon others.Speak distinctly. Those who spoke slowly and clearly dominated our meeting. High, hurried voices simply couldn't compete with Ellis Parker Butler's deliberate words, and his voice maintained his leadership for years. If you observe a group talking, you will find that the one with a low, controlled voice always gets the most respect. Replica Oris Watches The secret is simple. To talk well one must think well. You must think underneath the subject, above it and all around it.

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This principle,the basis of all good manners,Replica Watchesis the avoidance of friction in social contacts, emotional friction caused by irritation, boredom, envy, egotism or ridicule. Replica Oris Watches

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