Not Eye To Eye

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When my wife and I had our son Kyle, we thought we were the greatest parents in the world. Then we had our daughter, Kara.

Kara has always seen the world from a unique perspective. Since I was present at her birth I can verify that she is in fact ours and not switched at birth as some sort of cosmic joke.

From her point of view, if you have a problem with something she is doing, you have a problem, and your just going to have to get over it.

Her first teacher at school just happened to be a former school mate of mine. Connie had been teaching kindergarten for many years and seemed to be a perfect fit for the job. During our first Parent Night, Kara's teacher used a phrase that has stuck with me. “Kara, is given to fiction." If you have to call someone a liar this has to be the nicest possible way. Connie quit teaching that year. Just a coincidence I’m sure.

After Sunday school one morning Kara’s Sunday school teacher came up to my wife and I and said he was surprised we were both there. When we asked why, he said, “Well what with Kyle having broken his arm and everything...” “Kyle, broke his arm?” my wife asked surprised, “When? How?” Just then my son Kyle, came running up to us, both arms obviously fine. The poor man looked as if his screen had froze. “But Kara said..." "Oh, you have Kara in your class," I replied sympathetically.

Kara later explained that the teacher asked if anyone had any prayer requests. No one spoke up so Kara just came up with something to pray about. She told everyone that Kyle had broken his arm her parents had spent all day at the hospital with him getting the bone set and a cast put on. I have no idea where she came up with this story. No one in our family had ever broken an arm. The dazed Sunday school teacher just staggered off in shock.

When both of my kids were in elementary school, I was called by the office staff. My child had been in a fight at school and would need to go to the doctor. Evidently some stitches may be required to close a head wound. Naturally I assumed it was my son. But no, it was my little girl. I started to get irritated that some boy had abused my innocent little darling when Kara spoke up, “Don’t get mad at him dad, I started it!”

I was introducing her to a friend of mine one day. Just to be funny he said, “So you’re the booger-eatin’ moron.” Kara immediately turned around and hit me, “Dad, you told him!” Her reaction of course made it obvious his lucky guess was on the money.

If your child causes you to wonder if you'll live through raising them, be comforted in the knowledge that they will someday have children and you will be avenged.

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