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Marriage Conflict and Communication - Clear the battle lines

By: Jeffry Golden


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After you found that wonderful person with which to spent the rest of your life, it is easy to rest on the notion that 'love conquers all'.. Perhaps this is true, but only to the degree that you work together to sustain a loving relationship, learn to communicate effectively - to your partner and productively manage conflict . In any marriage, there are certain to be times when you and your sweetheart will not agree. Yes, there will be quarrels, only because you're
individuals. People usually have various points of view and as a result, you merely won't agree all the time.

Disputes in a marriage is a given, but good communication is not. Good comunication is something that you both will have to patiently acquire and
nurture over time. The trick is learning how to handle conflict in a mature, significant way, and to encouraging good martial communication skills.

Here are a few tips on avoiding some common booby traps you may face in conflict and communication in your marriage:

1.When you've got a difficult issue to discuss, carefully pick both the topic and the timing to approach it. Many couples fall into the trap of always needing to be 'right'. For example, if your hubby alleges that you're spending too much on clothes, maybe you are! Give it some consideration before you start to disagree. It's mind-boggling how couples can get into a fight over over less than big picture things. Conflict and communication is especially important
in some critical areas - money decisions, sex, family and raising children? If you don't agree, you can quash conflict by emphasizing that you dress nice for them and is an important area of expression for you.

It would be helpful to agree that you will try to manage your spending more carefully. You could even compile the receipts from the last three months and see where the spending is going. Again, he may be right. Believe me, he'll be shocked by this approach and you'll have quashed a fight and thus have saved your day. This example can also be reverse-roled and
used on the husband who have spend too much on his favorite hobby as well.

2.Occasionally your partner may come home and pick a fight. But don't let your partner get away with childish gambits like this. As in the point above, to cede that they may be right is a very good break the ice technique because it removes the conflict factor. The response, "Of course I'm right" is simply looking for trouble. Just as in (other) polite company, a courteous attitude is required when your other half suggests that you might be right and commit to look into the issue. This combination of conflict and communication in a marriage usually leads to a outcome that's acceptable by both parties.

You could close it out with some affection like a kiss to make up, thereby defusing a potential problem before it even arises.

3.Please consider these key points: as conflict and communication are essentially two sides of the same coin in maritial relationships. great marital communication can relieve pressure from the more

bellicose areas of conflict. When a conflict comes up, first think about your own motives and your end game. Are you just pushing your sweetie's buttons because you're

instigate disharmony, or have nothing better to do? Oh yes, it happens. Consequences which invite conflict often grow out of something that underlies the real issue. Remember that.

If each of you learns to stop using the 'red herring' ploy, you'll have far fewer conflicts and more productive communication.

Like two peas in a pod, conflict and communication in a marriage can peacefully occur. If you can learn to measure the point of conflict objectively and communicate without insulting, belittling or
accusatory remarks you will enjoy a blossoming relationship that you friends and relatives will perceive with envy. After all, this is your beloved sweetie! Communicating can be as simple as a kiss!

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