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How to Successfully Date Your Ex

By: Mel M

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There are many positive aspects to dating your ex, such as the fact that you already understand and like each other, and you don't have to go through that awkward stage of getting to know each other. But is it really a good idea? Before you decide to try and date your ex, you should spend some time evaluating what was good in your previous relationship, as well as what wasn't good, and what it was that made the two of you break up. There are generally some good rules you should follow, when trying to date your ex again.

Rule #1 Don't automatically fall back into the old routine
Try to do things a little differently in your relationship this time. It's easy to get back into the old routines, since you already know each other. But always remember, some of these old patterns may have actually contributed to your break up. You should try to concentrate on making new memories together, without so much focus on the past memories, both good or bad.

Rule #2 Make any adjustments necessary to let your relationship move forward
Try to solve any old issues that might have led to your initial break up. You should be trying to work on identifying what went wrong the first time, and not fall victim to ending up in the same arguments all over again. If there were patterns in your relationship that weren't positive, such as one of you being too controlling or passive, now is the time to work on these issues, no matter which one of you was guilty (in fact, it's likely that both of you were guilty of something.) Eliminating these types of behaviors will go a long way to ensuring success this time around.

Rule #3 Remember that your new relationship is still fragile
Treat your new relationship gently, and make an effort to keep things happy and fun. Don't get into the habit of discussing your previous break up, and if you feel a need to relive some of the old times, make sure you are reliving just the happy ones. Also, try to be very accepting of each other, similar to how you were when you first started dating, and you were just happy to see each other.

Rule #4 Create new experiences together
By creating some new experiences, you'll avoid bringing up old issues that might cause tension between you. By having fun, you'll become closer again but eventually, you'll have to discuss the break up. By this time, you'll have built a new relationship together, and it won't be such a difficult subject to discuss and get past. The best method to do this is to decide to only discuss it once, making sure that both of you get a chance to say what you'd like to say. Let each other discuss the previous problems, and make every effort to really understand each other. Then, learn from this discussion, and move on to a happier future.

Rule #5 Keep things positive and constructive
Regardless of what problems you might have had in the past, continuing to blame each other is detrimental to being able to move forward together. Visualize yourself as a team, and as a team, deal with any major issues that might have been between you, decide how best to deal with them, and then together work on building a stronger foundation.

Rule #6 Focus on the future
Once you have started a new relationship together, it's important to focus on the future, and not dwell on the past. Forget everything that happened in the past, and love and trust each other, without any preconceived notions about each other. It doesn't do either of you any good to be overly caution with each other, and it can cause damage to your new relationship because you're not willing to take the risks that are necessary to get closer to each other.
By following these rules, you can successfully date your ex again. However, remember that it can take a while for both of you to get to the point where you want to try it again. Give things some time, and wait a while before contacting them. By going slowly, and finding ways to get back into each other's lives and hearts, you will be on your way to making your relationship stronger than it was before.

Article Source: http://depositarticles.com/

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