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Effects of Divorce on Young Children and Teenagers

By: James Walsh

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The possible effects of a divorce on the children seem to have attracted the curiosity and interest of psychologists and sociologists throughout the western world. Earlier, people had an intuitive awareness of the fact that a divorce may have long lasting and sometimes irreversible affects on the children. Various research papers and studies in the recent years have verified our nascent fears. A divorce certainly creates an awkward situation for both the parents and the children, to which they may sometimes find themselves difficult to adjust to. On the contrary, there is no dearth of studies, which tend to establish beyond any doubt that the negative fallout of a divorce on the children is often temporary and mostly fades away with time. The fact is that the extent to which a child gets influenced by a divorce is determined by a lot of factors.

Why Divorce is Stressful for Children?

Owing to a variety of reasons, a divorce inevitably creates a stressful situation for the children involved. Change is a difficult process and more so for the children. A divorce brings in an upheaval into the life of a child, which realistically threatens to change all the major aspects of his/her existence, be it the daily routine, the social setup or the immediate vicinity. Children facing a divorce more then often develop a morbid fear of abandonment and a strong concern for their sustenance. An impending alteration in their network of attachments involving their parents, siblings, extended family and pets disturbs their peace of mind and threatens their sense of well being. The recurrent discord in the household ushered in by parental conflict and anger further aggravates the circumstances and deepens their worst fears. Subjected to poor parenting skills in a pre and post divorce scenario due to a heightened edginess and friction between parents, deprives them of a valid and often the only source of love and reassurance. Practical yet pressing problems like the scarcity of economic resources after a divorce may further exacerbate the things.

Pre-divorce Stress and Anxiety

A recent American study authentically states that the children from divorced households tend to exhibit serious personal and social problems, much before the divorce becomes final. Heightened conflict and acrimony between the parents takes a toll of their parenting skills, which directly affects the children. Disharmony and ill will at home exposes the children to unwarranted tension and stress, even before the divorce actually takes place. This seriously affects their academic and social abilities. For children, a divorce is an on going process rather then an isolated incident in their lives. Subjected to more then reasonable levels of anxiety, the children of parents contemplating a divorce often respond by showing poor academic performance and a range of psychological and behavioral problems.

Effects of Divorce on Children

The effects of a divorce on a child is influenced by a lot of factors such as the age of the child, the child’s gender, intensity of conflict between the parents, the child’s temperament and support from family friends and relatives.

1) Small Children (5 to 12 Years Old)

Children between 5 to 12 years of age are mature enough to understand a divorce at a conceptual level. However, they are not ripe enough to handle the practical situations it creates. They may envelope themselves in a sense of grief and often yearn for the missing parent. The boys sometimes behave aggressively towards their mother if she happens to be the sole custodian. Children between 9 to 12 years of age, being quiet mature are often better able to control and divert their feelings. Yet, there is always an underlying current of loss, guilt, resentment and anger which disturbs the recurrently.

2) Teenagers (13 to 18 Years Old)

Teenage is a time of stress and confusion when puberty knocks at the door and the personal quest for identity is in a delicate phase. During this age, the child’s feelings often tend to be inconsistent, which are further magnified by a divorce. Teens often exhibit emotions of anger, fear and guilt which may sometimes give way to a depression. Some teenagers may respond to this situation by acting precociously. With the emerging concerns about sexuality, if denied of proper adult guidance can lead to serious doubts about getting married and raising a family of their own.

Article Source: http://depositarticles.com/

James Walsh is a freelance writer and copy editor. If you would like more information on how to get a quickie Divorce see www.quickie-divorce.com

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