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Bringing change to life

By: MarkEyre

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Everyone knows that change is endemic in life, but none of us enjoys change being imposed. Amazingly though, we often resist changes we want to make off our own back. Oh absolutely, we discover strategies to sabotage, resist and undermine change, EVEN WHERE WE SAY WE WANT CHANGE, AND VIEW IT AS GOOD!

In this article, I will try to answer the following queries:

Question 1 - How do we sabotage change?

We each have our own individual strategies to resist change. Here are a few popular resistance strategies. You may recognise them as strategies that you deploy when faced with personal change.

More information needed - I see that change might be good. However, I must have more hard evidence first, to make sure. The need for more information is a continuous process, and a great way to procrastinate.

It's not so grim - Things aren't as grim as I first thought, so maybe I don't have to change. This is more commonly known as the 'flight to health', and famously kicks in with married couples who are in trouble and reluctantly go to marital therapy. Then, when they arrive to therapy, they agree their marriage isn't so bad as first thought!

This correct time - I can't begin this diet just now - I have a wedding to go to next weekend. Of course, there is always an explanation why this isn't the right time. I am completely motivated, but not right now!

The intellectual type - This person has loads of time to debate the ideas behind any proposed change, but never gets round to the practicalities of change. In other words, they never move from thought to acting.

It's them! - I'm ready to change, and if it wasn't for that lot we could move ahead. It's their resistance, not my own.

Question 2 - Why do we block making a change?

Change undermines our sense of control and security, which leaves us vulnerable. Loss of control, vulnerability, and insecurity are emotional responses. But rather than admit our feelings, we put up resistance to the change in our own unique way, using rationality to justify ourselves to ourselves and to other people.

All of us resist change using one strategy or another. The danger is that, in utilising our logocal (left-side) brain to justify our feelings-based resistance leaves this resistance hidden, from ourselves|in our subconscious}. So even learning to notice our own resistance, when it happens, can be really helpful - particularly when the change in question is something we say we desire. When we have located our own personal resistance, what steps can we take?

Question 3 - What could we do about our own resistance?

Here are some strategies for working on our own resistance, based on my work around change, with clients and in my own life.

Work up your vision - Call it mission, vision, goals, or whatever. Decide where you want to go in your career and personal life. Once you identify your direction, set some goals - that way, you have a timescale for action, and not just a foggy intention to do something 'at some point'. Always remember that, if you have no idea of direction, every change is bad!

Understand your personal values - Your values are things that are important for you, your moral code\guide. Get clear on what they are. Examples of values are achievement, honesty, integrity, decisiveness, and loyalty. Getting clear on your own personal values will help you to plot a course for change, and overcome your resistance where required.

The ought / should trap - Do you really want change, or is this something you 'ought' or 'should' do? If it's ought or should, look at why you see it this way. Are you considering change just to gain a thumbs up from others? If you don't really want to change for your own reasons, forget the change.

Make a public commitment - When you decide to publicise your plans to change, two things occur. First, things can begin to move in a way that makes it easier to make the change. It may be coincidence, or it may be an unseen hand in the ether. But whatever causes it, many people who make changes successfully say that 'declaring your intention to change' results in momentum being generated. Second, the people you've informed will give you a hard time if you don't follow through on your declaration, resulting in embarrassment. Risk of embarrassment is a major motivator to action!

Think through your beliefs - We all have beliefs on ourselves, e.g. 'I'm useless in presentations', or 'I am risk averse'. These beliefs develop in our heads, often from our early days, or from events where things went wrong in some way. It's worth critically re-examining beliefs that hold you back. Beliefs are not true or false. They are merely your beliefs, and they can be changed. If you believe your beliefs are true, just think about the anorexic who believes they are fat. They really do believe that.

Give yourself a break! - Perhaps most crucially, don't beat yourself up. It is natural to resist change - we need a degree of stable living in the world after all. We're all human, we generally attempt to do the best we can. While we can get better, it doesn't make us bad now. So take it easy on number one.

In finishing this article, I'll leave you with one final thought. If you wish to accelerate to a brilliant future, all you have to do is to take the brakes off! Reduce your own resistors, and you can be anything you want.

Article Source: http://depositarticles.com/

I am the owner of Brilliant Futures, passionately committed to helping people develop to become the best they can be. I wrote 'Stand up and live', a book dedicated to helping people reclaim their own personal power to live the life they dream of. www.brilliantfutures.net/

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