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Are You Too Attached To Your Goals To Change Habits?

By: Andrea Jordan

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Are you too attached to your goal to change habits? "Isn't the entire purpose of goals to be very attached to them so that you can achieve them?" I hear you ask. I felt like that too when I first came across this idea. It's taken me awhile to realise how I can apply this to my daily life, especially when I have a habit to break.

Let's take an example of someone who has a goal to stop their habit of eating unhealthy and lose some weight. Perhaps their goal is to lose 10 pounds in time for their birthday in 3 months time. What will happen when they get to their birthday and have only lost 9 pounds? Do you think that they will be disappointed with themselves that they've failed to reach their goal or thrilled at having got that far? Human nature being what it is we tend to focus on the negative so our birthday girl will more than likely be upset with herself.

If she wants to apply non attachment to her weight loss goal then she needs to take a step back and consider what it is that she was attempting to achieve. Perhaps she planned to change habits and establish a healthier diet. This is an idea - about who she is, the best way for her to live and how her life should look. Her attachment to this idea can cause a lot of suffering.

At the moment you feel stress or anxiety there's a large chance that you'll be hanging onto an idea. Take a moment to ask yourself, "What idea am I hanging onto?". Then ask yourself, "Is it worth the stress and frustration that I am feeling?" The majority of the time, it won't be, and you are able to let the idea go. This does not mean that you give up your goal to change habits rather it is a case of recognising that clinging to an idea doesn't always assist you.

One of my habit breaking goals was to enter (and finish!) a 5km road race by Christmas last year. I created this goal as I planned to break my bad habit of not having a regular fitness plan.

About two weeks away from Christmas I realised I wasn't going to be able to achieve that goal as I was going to be out of town when the race was held. I was annoyed with the timing and was considering driving for 2 hours each way in order to be there for the race. It occurred to me that I wasn't enjoying my run and was feeling angry and frustrated.

I asked myself "What idea am I hanging onto?" That was simple; I wanted to have my previous degree of fitness as soon as possible. My next thought was "Is it worth the stress and frustration that I am feeling?" For me it simply wasn't worth it. Feeling like that certainly wasn't helping my fitness levels and I wasn't enjoying what had previously been a pleasant run. So I had a reality check and reminded myself that the reason that I had set my goal was to keep myself motivated to improve my fitness. I also laughed at myself getting so serious as it was only 18 months ago that walking for 5 minutes had been very painful as a result of an injury. I focused instead on the fact that I had achieved a lot in the 5 weeks since I had started running again. With those thoughts I let go of the idea of the race and smiled and enjoyed the rest of my run.

Now that I have separated myself from the idea that I should run a race to get my fitness back on course, it's easier to realise that forcing myself to increase my fitness level at that rate would decrease the enjoyment that I had gained from beginning to run again.

An idea has caused my frustration. I had assumed it was the result of the fact that I wasn't going to be able to do a 5km race before Christmas when my annoyance was actually the result of my attachment to the idea that I must participate in a race in order to improve my fitness level quickly.

When you change your idea about something this changes the way that you feel about it.

Article Source: http://depositarticles.com/

ndrea Jordan is the Author of "Habit Breaking Facts: How to Change Your Bad Habits, Forever!" (now available electronically). Andrea is also a Corporate Lawyer and a Coach. If you would like to learn more of her coaching tips about making lasting changes to your bad habits and creating a healthier lifestyle then visit www.habitbreakingfacts.net for more information and a FREE chapter of her book. (C) 2010 Andrea Jordan. All rights reserved

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