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A variety Especially Witty Bar Jokes

By: Peter Rix

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There is something as regards pubs and drunks that seem to be the most common reason for jokes. Everyone is aware of a funny story that begins "A man walks into a bar" (and says Ouch!) and there is no doubt that drunks tend to be very amusing. Therefore here's a couple of pub jokes that you may not have heard previously, however they are all extremely funny, I guarantee you!

THE CRAZY BET WITH THE BARMAN
A guy strolls up to the barman and pronounces, "Do you see that glass over there in the corner? I'll bet you £20 that I can piss inside it from here!" The barman says okay, because the glass is miles way over on the other side of the bar.

So the gentleman unzips and whips it out, then pisses in a million diverse directions, coming nowhere even adjacent to the shot glass. Meanwhile the bartender's giggling so hard he can just about breathe.

"Pay up," says the barman, and cheerfully takes the money.
Meanwhile the man pays up, and strolls over and demands £200 from a third bloke playing pool.

The barman calls him back and demands, "Why did that guy give you the money?"

And the original chap states, "'Cause I bet him £200 that I could pee all over your bar and you would merely laugh about it!"

SEXY LADY IN A QUIET LOCAL BAR
A rather alluring lady goes up to the bar in a quiet neighborhood pub.

She gestures alluringly in the direction of the barman, who comes over right away. When he arrives, she seductively signals for him to bring his face close to hers. As soon as he does so, she starts to softly touch his beard, which is full and bushy.

"Are you the boss she asks, softly stroking his face with both hands.

"Actually, no" he replies.

"Can you get him for me -- I have to to have a word to him." She is running her fingers up beyond his beard and into his hair.

"I'm afraid that I can't," breathes the barman, noticeably aroused. "Is there anything I can do?"

"Yes, there is. I require you to give him a message," she continues huskily, popping a couple of fingers into his mouth and allowing him to suck them gently.

"Tell him that there is no toilet paper in the ladies room."

THE GUINNESS BOSS AT THE BEER CONFERENCE
After the Great British Beer Festival, in London, all the global brewery presidents chose to go out for a beer.

The gentleman from Corona sits down and says, "Hey Senor, I would like the world's most excellent beer, a Corona." The barman dusts off a bottle from the shelf and offers it to him.

The gentleman from Budweiser affirms, "I'd like the greatest beer in the world, hand over me 'The King Of Beers', a Budweiser." The bartender supplies him one.

The gentleman from Coors says, "I'd like the only beer made with Rocky Mountain spring water, present me a Coors." He gets it.
The guy from Guinness sits down and pronounces, "Give me an orange juice."

The bartender is a little astonished, but gives him what he ordered.

The other brewery presidents stare over at him and ask "Why aren't you drinking a Guinness?" and the Guinness president answers: "Well, I guess if you guys are having weak drinks, then so will I."

Article Source: http://depositarticles.com/

My name is Pat McLachlan, and I have a Home Brewing website and another for Online Jokes! So this article is perfect to promote both websites!

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